Posts Tagged ‘Travel and Tourism’


Dear Qantas

So …

I am not an airline expert. I am just your average common-or-garden passenger. But the man on the tele says your share price has halved since current management took over. And in that time, presumably, your Directors and Management, have become seriously wealthier. If that’s not the case, please tell me, but, you know, I’m just guessing.

Meanwhile, another man on the tele says, just as one example of the coverage of your company tonight, that your investment in your subsidiary Jetstar’s Asian business currently runs at about a billion dollars. And the return? Not one cent. Hmmm.

Remember when, at the end of 2011, we had to watch, stupified, while your CEO Alan Joyce finished his year on a high note, being granted nearly $600,000 of the airline’s shares?

Two months after Mr Joyce grounded the airline, stranding 70,000 people worldwide for days, your board awarded him 375,014 shares bought for him by the company’s share plan trustee at $1.58 each, the result of him “meeting performance targets”.

As the Sydney Morning Herald reported, this brought his annual remuneration package to about $5 million.

So today, less than two years later, your basic response to your apparently dire lack of business and marketing nous is, as ever, to cut the jobs of your long-suffering staff and to stick out your well manicured mitts for a handout. Dressed up with some pay cuts for senior management. Whoop-di-doo. We suspect you can afford it.

joyceWell, Qantas, yesterday you charged me $30 PER PERSON for the privilege of booking four tickets I needed by credit card online – the only payment option on offer, of course – with me doing you the favour of not bothering your staff with having to sell me tickets.

That’s money I can’t afford. Today, you want me to subsidise you with my money, via the Government?

Well, Alan Joyce and your colleagues, I politely decline your kind offer to prop you up any longer.

You do what the rest of us would have to do. Raise the money you need from would-be shareholders on the open market. And if that means your existing shareholders end up with their value reduced, well, serve you right for running the business the way you have, serve them right for letting you, and you can wear the resulting approbrium.

You know what? I actually believe in a national  carrier. I might have even subscribed for $120 myself, but you just robbed me of that chance.

Chickens. Roost. Geddit ?

Yours sincerely
Pissed Off of Melbourne

This literally just arrived in my email, courtesy of a Virgin Australia Holidays marketing exercise.

Under the banner Sale into Summer – SALE into summer, geddit? – the email is offering holidays, including Vanuatu for $725 pp for 5 nights. Sounds like a good deal. Interestingly, though, the conditions for the holiday included this little gem. Which makes it an incredibly good deal.

Vanuatu Includes return airfares to Hamilton Island, baggage, 5 nights accommodation. Departs Brisbane, on sale until midnight 24 November, unless sold out prior, for travel between 05 November – 05 December 2013 and 02 February – 27 March 2014.

Flights to Hamilton Island included in all Vanuatu holidays. What a great promotion. I like Hamilton Island.

Quite why Virgin would include return airfares to Hamilton Island in their offer of a holiday to Vanuatu is beyond me, but it’s very generous. Much better than a free cocktail on arrival. I’ll take ten. Wonder if there’s a limit on how long you can keep the airfares in your back pocket for?

I note the email seems to have been prepared in Singapore by an organisation which appears to be called Planet 49 and/or “Vertical Response”. A cursory search online reveals they might be part of this global company.

I cannot help but wonder how hot their phone lines will be running after this little quality control issue is pointed out. Which they will be, just as soon as I get hold of the marketing manager at Virgin Australia Holidays and pipe up with “My name is Mr Wellthisiswhatithink, I’d like to go to Vanuatu please and I claim my free flights to Hamilton Island too.”

Tee hee.

Meanwhile we note in the media yesterday that Virgin Australia is raising $350 million from shareholders to reduce debt and provide cash for its new business strategy.

The airline will offer existing shareholders five new shares for every 14 that they currently hold, at a discounted price to their current market value.

“This capital raising is designed to enhance liquidity and the gearing position of Virgin Australia to ensure we are in a stronger position moving forward,” chief executive John Borghetti said in a statement on Thursday.

The airline has been restructuring its business, including an update of its technology, implementing a stronger passenger loyalty program, and increasing its access to global markets.

Our italics. Might we suggest as part of the effort that 10 additional cents worth of proof-reading wouldn’t go amiss either? Or should we ask why you don’t use an Australian company for your outbound email marketing …. hmmm? No, we couldn’t possibly do that.

For the dozens of other Advertising and Sub Editing F*** Ups we have spotted, just type F*** Up in the search box. And in particular don’t miss yesterday’s Social Media F*** Ups of all time.