“And you can’t get a decent cup of tea anywhere, you know.” “Ooooh, I know.”
I am indebted to my old friend and regular contributor to Wellthisiswhatithink – Richard Ember – for this wonderful list of REAL comments received by Thomas Cook from complaining British holidaymakers.
Yes, we are assured they are true. And as Richard says, “Beware! They walk among us.”
It does remind us of our favourite description of the British holidaymaker abroad … “When you can’t be understood, just say it louder and stick an O on the end of most words. As in, “Meo wanto fish and chipso! Savvy, mate?”
Merde alors. No wonder Australians call the Brits “Whingeing Poms”.
Let the joys commence
“I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”
“It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time – this should be banned.”
“On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”
“We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.”
A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel “inadequate” .
“The beach was too sandy.”
“We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”
A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. Then again, he was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
“Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”
“We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”
“No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”
“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England but it only took the Americans three hours to get home.”
“I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends’ three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.”
“The brochure states: ”No hairdressers at the accommodation”. We’re trainee hairdressers – will we be OK staying here?”
“There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners.”
“We had to queue outside with no air conditioning. ”
“It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”
“I was bitten by a mosquito – no-one said they could bite.”
“My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
Oh no, they are adding to the gene pool. God help us all.
Well, This Is What I Think 