Posts Tagged ‘Shopping’

Click this link to read a fun article called Stop Sausaging Around from See! Travel Mag.

I love the little story I have highlighted above, because it is all about sausages. In this case, German sausages, specifically. Go read that article then come back here 🙂

Sausage maker

You put the smergle in the kefuptnik, hit the guntraager button, unt out comes the wassenwitchit in one long line. Yumbo.

I love sausages so much I recently spent $250 on a genuine sausage maker.

I even bought proper pig’s intestine to form the casing of the sausages, not that horrid plastic stuff that commercial sausage makers make.

Then I went and sourced superb pork belly from the best butcher in Melbourne, and added in all the spices I wanted, following the recipes I had downloaded from the internet to the letter.

Mein Gott In Himmel! Do you guys have ANY idea how bad sausages are for us? They are little tubular fat and cholesterol BOMBS!

I ate them with one finger on my pulse, anxiously checking to ensure the pump was still beating. And that was the only time I made sausages. I will do so again, but I am letting my system adjust. I think it will be safe to eat another sausage in about, oh, say three months? I have even reduced my supermarket trawl for them, which could often lead to me eating sausages every day for a week. (And never getting bored.)

The home-made heart-stoppers were bloody delicious, mind you.

Actually, reading back, I think the only thing I can say is “Don’t play the sore liver sausage”  you wuss. Hang the risk, get sausage making again. Hmmmm. Tempting.

Anyhow, how brilliant is it to have a culture like the Dear Old Deutsch where sausages are so prevalent they even have sayings about them?

Actually, there’s an Aussie saying called “Sink The Sausage”  come to think of it. Not to mention “Hide the Baby Salami”.

English: Sausages, seen in Covered Market, Oxford.

Sausages, seen in Covered Market, Oxford. (Wikipedia)

They mean about the same thing. I’m sure you can work it out.

And now I’ve included them in this article, you can guarantee my story on sausages won’t get Freshly Pressed. Hey ho.

By the way, NEVER prick sausages to release the fat.*shakes in horror*

Defeats the whole purpose of making them. The trick to the puuuurfect sausage is to cook it slowly, turning constantly, over a low heat, until it is thoroughly cooked through and gently browned. Never pierce it with a fork or knife tip. Apart from losing lots of lusciousness, red hot pork fat in the eye hurts.

OK – I want to know YOUR favourite sausage, Dear Reader. Lincolnshire? Cumberland? Chicken with Chives? Duck with orange and sage? Italian? Or your favourite really silly sausage story. Or your best home-made sausage recipe – and if it’s good, I promise I will make a batch and post photos.

Yes, I think I will make some more sausages. Life’s too short. If I suddenly stop posting, you’ll know I have had a coronary, and life got even shorter. F*** it, eh?

Advertisements

Hilarious, gentle, life-affirming story about growing kids. I recommend it.

Gemini Girl in a Random World

Because it’s not my daughter’s bra. Or at least, not yet.

I took my girls to the mountains last week for some didn’t-get-around-to-doing-all-the-cool-things-I-promised-you-this-summer-and-sort-of-need-to-fit-it-all-into-one-day family fun. Well, family – two + two, because my husband had to work, my son was already back at school, and each of my daughters decided that bringing a friend would be a much better option than hanging out with me.

As the trip drew closer, I watched my self-declared, starring role in their lives casually deflate with the slow hiss of a forgotten balloon, to the point that the character I’ve played for the past ten years and know by heart dwindled to nothing more than a cameo appearance. I was a ride up the mountain, someone to hold discarded clothing (not lingerie), and a human ATM.

The minute we hit the resort parking lot (well not really “we”, the kids paired off in…

View original post 577 more words

One of my great joys is designing t-shirts. Some are serious – overtly political, and invariably radical, and anti-pomp. Some are silly, pointless and just what I consider to be funny.

If you want something designed for you, just let me know.

So employing what is commonly known as cross-promotion, here are my favourite designs. I add to the basket of designs regularly, so if you like them, bookmark www.cafepress.com/yolly and drop by anytime.

STOP BOMBING CIVILIANS

With the current situation in Syria, this one really should be selling more than it is. I never get enough time to promote the shirts. This one always gets a lot of good comments when I wear it round town. On the website it’s just on a simple male t-shirt, but I can put it on women’s shirts, (inc plus size), posters, mugs, clocks … well, you get the idea. Just email me on steveyolland@yahoo.com if you want the design on something else.

Give the finger to indiscrimate bombing of civilians in Syria and elsewhere … click on http://www.cafepress.com/yolly.431431249

WAR WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MEN REFUSE TO FIGHT

Unashamedly pro-life, pro-peace, pro-pacifist. The next shirt is relevant to the situation in the Middle East, too, and many other trouble spots around the world. I also think it’s a feminist shirt. As a generalisation, I think rich men start wars, the working class fight them, and women and children make up the majority of the innocents that die or are horribly injured.

Emphasis on men. Make the point yourself by clicking on http://www.cafepress.com/yolly.431431257

MEDIA SHENANIGINS

I am always fascinated by the concept of free speech in the USA. It is admirable, in many ways. It is also an invitation to defame, distort, and spew hatred. In my opinion, Fox News is a blight on freedom, an overtly dangerous mangling of news and opinion that bears no relationship to journalism that I understand as a democrat. Note the small d.

I love this slogan. And before you say “I’ve seen that somewhere else”, it has been stolen and re-used but I have records that prove I came up with it. One of the fun things is, I am not doing this for money, so if someone reproduces it and it sells, well … OK! http://www.cafepress.com/yolly.625554839

SILLY. BECAUSE I CAN.
I can’t stand humourless people who can ONLY talk about politics, or any subject actually. Having the web t-shirt business lets me indulge myself with shirts I just think are silly and funny. Here are three.

It just makes people smile when you walk along. Isn’t that reason enough? http://www.cafepress.com/yolly.675539483

Waitresses in restaurants surreptitiously read this one and then burst out laughing as they pour the wine. Works for me! It reads “Bertha-May didn’t think that Lord Haversmith’s comments about opening up the North-West passage stemmed entirely from his interest in that evening’s Royal Society Lecture.” Ahem. http://www.cafepress.com/yolly.454738521

I heard a woman say this in a pub and just pissed myself laughing for hours. Seems like a good enough reason to design a stylish shirt. “Don’t ask yet, honey. I am still drinking you pretty.” LOL http://www.cafepress.com/yolly.673342919

DOUBLE SPEAK

I tried to imagine what it was like to be the parent of a child killed by shelling, shooting, poison gas, or the starvation and illness caused by civil disruption. Then a re-working of the famous line for “Soylent Green” popped into my head. This shirt makes me cry, and not just for the kids. It makes me cry tears of frustration that we have let language be used to con us, so often.

That’s my daughter, aged two. We’re still using language to obscure the truth, not illuminate it. Wear the shirt, make the point. Change things. http://www.cafepress.com/yolly.431439345

COMMON SENSE ENVIRONMENTAL CONCERN

If you disagree with these shirts, then what the hell are you doing reading this blog? Your little private hole is over there, Mr Ostrich. Perfect fit for your head.

“Please don’t use it all at once. (Your children are going to need it one day.)”  Seems sensible, no? http://www.cafepress.com/yolly.431434387

For years we’ve been told “Use it or lose it.” about our bodies, our brains, our “mojo”. Unfortunately, the opposite is true of our planet. When we use it all up, it’s gone. Forever. No jobs on a dead planet. http://www.cafepress.com/yolly.431434406

LAST BUT NOT LEAST; MY BIGGEST PLEA
If we fail to engage with our civil society, one day we will wake up and it will be taken from us. Think it can’t happen … here? There? Anywhere? Phooey.

History shows it happens anywhere, anytime. Some lunatic stands up and insists “I can do better than democracy” and they con us time and again. “Don’t leave it to someone else to change the world. Chances are, they’re leaving it to you.” Or as Gandhi said “Be the change you want to see in the world.” But I couldn’t nick that, could I? On the other hand … hmmm.

Just get involved. Whatever you believe. http://www.cafepress.com/yolly.431436558

I’ll post some more soon. And remember, I can stick the designs on just about anything, so if you don’t see what you want on the website, just let me know. Or if you want a shirt campaigning about something or other, just tell me, and I’ll try and dream it up.

Assuming I agree with you.