Well, This Is What I Think

She may have been around for 57 years, but Barbie has certainly received a lot of criticism over the last few decades for her unrealistic body measurements. The blonde blue-eyed doll is fast losing popularity, with manufacturer Mattel recording a 14% drop in profits last year alone.

It seems the company has finally taken note, because it’s just introduced three new body types and 24 new hairstyles to the Barbie range (baby steps). “We are excited to literally be changing the face of the brand – these new dolls represent a line that is more reflective of the world girls see around them – the variety in body type, skin tones and style allows girls to find a doll that speaks to them,” said Evelyn Mazzocco, senior vice-president and Barbie’s global general manager.

In other news, a new “Corporate Barbie” will be produced too, showing a young woman juggling an iPhone, handbag and make-up, laptop with complex Excel spreadsheet running, supporting her boyfriend’s concerns that he is losing his hair too soon by making him an appointment with the local Hair Studio, between fielding important calls from her CEO.

In an extra effort to make her more “now” and “happening”, “Corporate Barbie” will also only earn 85% of the salary typical for a man at her level. She will have a number of direct reports who earn more than her. And if she should ever make a mistake or appear mildly irritable, everyone will assume it’s because she’s having a period.

(That’s enough sarcasm. Ed.)