That awkward “No, they didn’t really write that headline” moment … “Woman ‘becomes pregnant in the mouth’ from calamari”

Posted: June 16, 2012 in Humour, Popular Culture et al
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Do not encourage live squid into your mouth at inappropriate moments. I’m sorry, it obviously has to be made clear to some people.

Look, don’t blame me. I didn’t start this.

My responsibility to you, Dear Reader, requires that I reproduce the story, in case, you know, you missed it. Or you threw up the first time you clicked past it, and now need the detail. Whatevs.

A 63-year old woman woman from South Korea became pregnant with 12 baby squid while eating a portion of cooked squid, claims a scientific paper from the National Centre for Biotechnology Information (NCBI) in Maryland, USA.

She claimed to have felt a pricking sensation (oo-er, missus) in her mouth while chewing on the sperm sacks of squid, which forcefully shoot sperm that try to embed themselves when they land.

The lady went to doctors complaining of what they described as ‘bug-like organisms’ in her mouth.

In fact, doctors found baby cephalopods, which are small pods covered in adhesive to make them stick.

Doctors were only able to formally identify the pods as squid spermatophores after they removed them from the victim’s gums, tongue and cheek.

The bizarre claim in the NCBI’s paper says:

“She did not swallow the portion, but spat it out immediately.

She complained of a pricking and foreign-body sensation in the oral cavity.

“Twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva [gums] were completely removed, along with the affected mucosa.

“On the basis of their morphology and the presence of the sperm bag, the foreign bodies were identified as squid spermatophores.”

In western countries, the organs of squid are generally removed before being served to eat. (And in civilised western countries they are turned into neat little circles of white flesh encased in batter. I mean, come ON, people.)

Incidents involving the ‘impregnation’ of human mouths are more or less confined to areas where raw fish is eaten.

(Thanks to Yahoo7 and others, and sub editors everywhere.)

Related articles – oh yes, the blogosphere goes wild.

Comments
  1. Dazza says:

    A wise Wildebeest once stated “Woman who swallows will avoid impregnation”

    Like

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