OK, forget Cock Flavour Soup. I mean that was good, but we’ve gone one better.
Thanks to our eagle-eyed correspondent, we have now have what must be the all-time unfortunate packaging f*** up – yes, two in just a week!
OK, it’s from Iceland. Or at least, it’s from the frozen foods retailer called Iceland. But they speak English in both places, right?
This apparently got through the client, the marketing department, the quality control dept in the agency … no one in the retailer said anything …
Honestly. I mean, really?
And you thought the horse-meat pies was big news.
Rumours of single men heading to Iceland for Christmas are greatly exaggerated. And if you don’t get the joke, which we’re sure you do, just click here. If you absolutely feel you need to. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=minge
As always, for a full list of F*** Ups we have brought to the world for group derision, just pop F*** Up in the search box top left of this page and hit Enter.
Go on, you know you want to.
This has to be the best ever. Unless, Dear Reader, you know better? And yes, we’re not idiots, we know it could be a photoshop internet meme joke thing, but at this point, sans evidence from Snopes.com, we’re treating it as a real F*** Up, especially as we have seen other equally unlikely ones that we know to be true.
Meanwhile, just coz we’re nice, here’s the best mice pie recipe ever. After all, Christmas isn’t far away now, right? And Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas without mince pies. This easy recipe for the rich, sticky, sweet fruits wrapped in pastry reveals why they are so more-ishly delicious.
Mince pies have been eaten as part of a traditional British Christmas since as long ago as the 16th century. Back then they were made with meat (hence the name) but now they are made with sweet mincemeat; a mixture of dried fruits, sugar, spices and brandy.
Home made “mincemeat” is quick and easy to make and there are also many great commercial brands out there to use instead. The advantage of making your own is that you can, ahem, sample it as you go. Fun for all the family. And your tummy. And the kitchen smells simply awesome.
Suet is an important part of the mincemeat and is an animal fat, so if you don’t eat meat, look out for vegetarian version or make mincemeat using an alternative fat.
Shortcrust pastry is my preferred mince pie case, some like puff pastry, you choose.
- 350g / 12oz plain / all purpose flour
- Pinch of salt
- 225g butter / 8 oz cubed or an equal mix of butter and lard
- 1 beaten egg + 1 cold water as needed
- 1 jar of mincemeat, shop bought or home made (see below)
- 2 tbsp icing sugar
Heat the oven to 205°C/400°F/Gas 6
Make the Pastry
- Place the flour, butter and salt into a large clean bowl.
- Rub the butter into the flour with your fingertips until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs, working as quickly as possible to prevent the dough becoming warm.
- Add the egg to the mixture and using a cold knife stir, add cold water a teaspoon at a time until the mixture binds but don’t make it too wet that it is sticky.
- Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and chill for a minimum of 15 minutes, up to 30 minutes
Assemble the Pies
- Choose a muffin or bun tin for the size of the pie you want. Choose from a standard 12-cup muffin tin down to small canapé size. The number of pies will depend on the size of cup you choose.
- Dust a work surface lightly with a little flour and roll out two-thirds of the pastry to 1/8″/3mm thick. Cut circles to line the cups of your tin, don’t worry if the pastry doesn’t come to the top.
- Fill the pastry lined tins 2/3 full with mincemeat.
- Roll out the remaining pastry to the same thickness and cut smaller circles to fit as lids on the tarts or to be decorative, cut stars or other fancy shapes.
- Dampen the edges of the tart bases with a little cold water and press the lids on. Make a small hole in the surface of each pie with a small sharp knife to allow the steam to escape (you can omit this if using star-shaped lids).
- Bake in the preheated oven for 20 mins (15 mins if making canape size) or until golden brown. Remove from the oven and sprinkle with the icing sugar.Mince pies are delicious served hot or cold on their own or with Brandy Butter.They will keep well if placed in an airtight tin – up to seven days. Depending on your personal preference, they benefit from a gentle warming in the oven before serving. As an alternative, eat them with any creamy cheese like Brie or Camembert – unexpectedly perfect combination!
- 6oz/175g raisins
- 4 oz/ 110g sultanas
- 10 oz/ 275g currants
- 4 oz/110g candied, mixed peel, finely chopped
- 6 oz/175g shredded suet (beef or vegetarian)
- 1/2 lb/ 250g soft, dark brown sugar
- ½ tsp freshly grated nutmeg
- 2 tsp mixed spice
- Grated zest and juice of 1 lemon
- Grated zest and juice of 1 orange
- 1 Bramley or cooking apple, cored and finely chopped, no need to peel
- 4 tbsp brandy
If you prefer, add whiskey instead of brandy.
If you prefer, have a glass or two yourself while cooking.
It’s Christmas. You’re allowed.
Nom nom nom.